is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
should my penis look like a turkey
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
