I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
