I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
