apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
