I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
