Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
