what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
