oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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