I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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