i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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