and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
What a dumb baby whore.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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