I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
