Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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