I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
