you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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