did you get engaged???
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
