He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
