This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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