People in love make me want to vomit
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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