You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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