Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
