i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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