Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
