How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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