Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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