K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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