GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
