just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
whose parrot is this?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize