Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
