two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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