can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
