so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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