I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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