Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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