i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize