So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
