Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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