i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
