the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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