If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
