"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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