Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
