New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
