i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
