Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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