This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
