You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize