My girlfriend figured out who you are.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
