yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
