I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
