Whod you bang
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize