I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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