More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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