It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
there is glitter all over my balls
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