Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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