are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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