dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
