Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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