sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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