shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
