the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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