last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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