"it" just moved
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize