if you like me you must not know who I am
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize