hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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