ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
