The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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