my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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